In less than 2 weeks I turn 39.
On Friday night I went out by myself. I went to a concert that was a crowd that was full of younger people, mostly women. I don't usually mind going places by myself. I've been single most of my adult life...I honestly don't know how it would feel to have a date with me at places like that. I was looking around and I couldn't help but notice that the majority of women had on tons of makeup, false eyelashes, drawn on eyebrows, the whole bit; dressed like they stepped out of a magazine; and traveling in groups. All of them snapping selfies...perfectly polished. sipping on mixed drinks.
I'm not polished.
Friday night was the first night I have ever gone out by myself and felt uncomfortable. And it was because I felt "old"....for the first time. I had random men smile at me and one man came up and talked to me. I know I could have ended up with a few phone numbers or a date if I would have tried...I know I am appealing to the opposite sex, physically. I don't really care about physical connections. They fade.
I want un-polished.
I want gritty, real...I want good conversations...brutal honesty, drives on backroads, homemade wine, falling in love. Deep down that's what I want But I gave up on anyone good loving me. I gave up on anyone who isn't a cheater or someone who won't do me wrong ever falling for me. That's not who I attract...
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