Honey...

Laying in my bed. Eyes closed. My lips tingling with the faint taste if Jack Daniels Honey. My throat...still not healed from pneumonia and the coughing fits that started again this morning...felt like sand paper. My head - numb. From the corners of my eyes I could feel tears, burning warm against my cool skin. The only sound - the pole fan oscillating in the corner. 

Suddenly, I opened my eyes. Startled. "Why am I crying?" 

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep. Not completely asleep but I had drifted to the place in my subconscience were the happenings of the day are looped and fade to memories while dreams begin to sprout. 

Love. 

Love made me cry. I miss being loved. 

I've accepted being single. I am okay being single. Circumstance and my general distrust of men have taken over as my reasons. But I will never be okay with not being loved. I will never not desire it.